These are my Salada Days...

Last night J informed me that she had to be at school early tomorrow as she has rehearsals for 'One Good Deed' straight after snack.

O.K.

I was awoken this morning by a fully dressed-in-her-uniform-and-hair-done J urging me to get up and make lunch because she 'can't be late today!'

I tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen to pour myself - oh, hang on - lost track due to my tiredness and being awoken at ungodly hours by oldest daughter.

Anyway.... I'm up, dressed and playing will-they-wont-they with the snacks (will they eat what I've given them and not whine when they see what their snacks are?).  We (children, husband and I) have a discussion about lunch orders. Friday is the last day of term, will the canteen be open on Friday?  Better not risk it - lets have a lunch order today!  So it's decided.  I finish packing the school bags and then organise children to eat breakfast, clean teeth and have hair done.  I then organise the same for myself.

We leave the house 15 minutes earlier than most days (yay!)  My music choice in the car is acceptable to the children - Madonna Celebration (Disc 1).  At five to eight the children are released from the car and I turn the music up to deaf old man level and tootle off to work.

Work, work, workity work.  Lunch time!  I drive to the local sandwich shop and while I'm ordering my sandwich a thought occurs to me... I didn't actually write the children's lunch orders out!  No lunch for my children!  Gah!  Then I suffer the humiliation of knowing that this isn't the first time this has happened.  Usually it's T Man forgetting to put his lunch order into the lunch order box, or me leaving written-out-with-money-in-the-bag lunch order on the kitchen bench.

Then there is the further humiliation in knowing that the school has a back up plan for such scenarios. The teachers are allowed to give the lunchless children Saladas. Oh the shame.

Now with 60% less professional parenting!

I am dreading going home from work - I will be faced with a barage of 'You forgot' and 'I was sooooo hungry' and of course 'Miss Smyth gave me some Salada's'.

Definitely will need giant glass of wine tonight - only after I over compensate by serving children mountainous plate of food for dinner.

Time for Wine?

I think so.

Clearly, I'm crazy.

Whirlwind. That's how I'd describe my life at the moment.  Crazy, stupid, out-of-control.  The only shred of normality is between the hours of 8.30am and 5.00pm.  Then, and only then, I can escape to the wonderful sanctuary of my office.

Here is a list of things NOT to do if you don't want some kind of crazy, messed up life:

1. Book a rollerskating birthday party for your son. 20 six year-olds barely know how to walk, let alone roller-skate.
2. Bake the Birthday Cake on the day of the party. You just know it's going to turn out crap, you just know it.
3. Under-cater with the Cheezels and the Fairy Bread. 20 hot and sweaty six year-olds will eat and act as if they've never seen food before.
4. Allow your father-in-law to attend the party. All the single ladies, all the single ladies.... were not safe in his presence, neither were the married ones.
5. Allow your husband to attend.  Enough said.

This is how a skate party should look. (Scott Baio!)

Next year I will know better and I will tell T-Man that he can have one friend (not the 'Time Out' kid or the richest kid in the class - I don't need that pressure!) to have a party with.  Harsh, I know but I really do believe my sanity is far, far more important than his Birthday Party happiness.

I thoroughly deserved the 1.5 bottles (Amiri - NZ Sauvignon Blanc) I drank when I got home that night.